you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
