Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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