i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
