I'm going to jail i love you
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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