Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize