he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
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