dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
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I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
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you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.