went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.