Texts From Last Night

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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I puked a lego.

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  (603): I puked a lego. http://tfl.nu/7r9h
  Replies (10) Good night (1852) Bad night (2751)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.

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  (270): I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song. http://tfl.nu/5506
  Replies (14) Good night (3237) Bad night (873)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.

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  (313): theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen. http://tfl.nu/by0t
  Replies (16) Good night (1739) Bad night (3387)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you

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  (573): Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you http://tfl.nu/8e5m
  Replies (11) Good night (6407) Bad night (1575)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.

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  (816): He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP. http://tfl.nu/4ge4
  Replies (23) Good night (6379) Bad night (1248)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Jesus...So southern.

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  (774): Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat. (401): Jesus...So southern. http://tfl.nu/htgy
  Replies (11) Good night (1498) Bad night (2833)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Just invented taco cereal.

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  (503): Just invented taco cereal. http://tfl.nu/md8j
  Replies (8) Good night (1580) Bad night (2012)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab

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  (705): And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab http://tfl.nu/8keh
  Replies (9) Good night (1884) Bad night (819)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you

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  (484): come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you http://tfl.nu/95xm
  Replies (4) Good night (1731) Bad night (633)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?

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  (314): I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season? http://tfl.nu/6vbo
  Replies (6) Good night (1628) Bad night (602)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.

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  (304): Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this. http://tfl.nu/ysuz
  Replies (3) Good night (1311) Bad night (501)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.

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  (256): Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people. http://tfl.nu/64sc
  Replies (1) Good night (897) Bad night (280)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me

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  (256): I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me http://tfl.nu/47hs
  Replies (2) Good night (919) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling

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  (843): Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling http://tfl.nu/p0kx
  Replies (6) Good night (426) Bad night (806)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight

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  (423): Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight http://tfl.nu/dc8d
  Replies (1) Good night (331) Bad night (190)

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