Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos