cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE