I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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