I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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