Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
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