I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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