He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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