Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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