I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
