Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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