The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
