oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
