no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Randomize
