I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
