She went from zero to smokin in five shots
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
