I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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