How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
