Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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