so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
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Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
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This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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