he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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