NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
