Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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