Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
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