I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
