so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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