before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
