Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize