i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
