Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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