Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
