I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
