No stitches, just platelets and will power
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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