do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
