OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
