Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
