do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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