I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You dont lie about slip and slides
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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