chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize