Define "chronic" masturbator.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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