And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
