I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
