The brown eye won't let me do that either.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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