I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?