come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Can you repeat that, but with context?