Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.