I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.