You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
