Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
