Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
