I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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