I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Sober January is a disaster.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i drank out of a bidet.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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