I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
These tits shall not be calmed
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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