Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
