Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
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