You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
