i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
