Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
